My wife and I celebrated our 10th anniversary last month. We had a blast. Naturally, at some point we looked into each others eyes both thankful we had come this far, and a bit sad, because one our deepest desires isn’t yet fulfilled. We don’t have children yet. In our characteristic manner, we refocused on all we had to be thankful for and kept enjoying our big day.
Waiting for anything you really want is hard. No, it is extremely hard :). What do you do when you have no control over the outcome no matter how you hard you try or how badly you want something? You make the most of the life you have. In another newsletter I will share lessons from our first decade, in this one I want to encourage you with something we are proud of.
It is simple, we have no regrets of delaying things we could do because we were waiting for children. We make the most of opportunities that come our way and the season we find ourselves in. People regularly comment on how much we enjoy ourselves. Don't Pause Your Life, Live It Up.
What about you? What are you waiting for and are you pausing your life in anyway while you wait for “it”? Do you find yourself delaying one thing or the other? This is an invitation to stop delaying and start living it up. Be responsible of course :).
To live without regrets, we became inverse paranoids. When something bad happens or things aren’t going according to plan or you are waiting for something, an inverse paranoid asks the question - “What is the opportunity that exists in this for me”. Inverse paranoids consistently look for opportunities in everything that happens – good, bad, indifferent.
There are too many examples of how we have been living it up. For example, we have worked hard on our marriage, we are genuinely best friends, happy and more in love than ever. We travel a lot, well until covid. We do a lot of spontaneous things because they are no kids that need co-ordinating :). We decided it was best I pursue my dream early so I am established before the kids come. The list is endless.
I wasn’t sure if I should share something so personal with you. I decided it was fine because as a leader, I believe it is OK to be vulnerable. As Brene Brown said “vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage”.
Also, I want to encourage us to be more thoughtful about our family, friends and particularly our colleagues who we hardly think about in this way. We are very unlikely to be at risk of caring too much, we are more at risk of not caring enough.
Memorable Quote - “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength” Crissi Jami.
Coaching tip - Pick an area of your life that you wish was better; ask yourself “What is the opportunity that exists in this for me?” Seize the opportunity.
Leadership challenge - Identify three people you can show more care. Do something caring for them in the next week.